Why did this have to happen to particularly...ME?!
Was this like some punishment from Karma? Was this for getting horrible grades in math? Whatever it is, I'm sorry already!
Yesterday (that was last Thursday(the 15th)), I wanted Graham to hear my piano piece that I played for my recital. He came to the concert at Barnes and Noble, thinking that I would play my piano piece there, but the piano didn't have a Damper pedal, which would mean my piano piece would sound horrible. I told him on that Thurday that I really wanted him to hear it and we both agreed to meet in the choir room on Friday (the 16th).
I saw Graham on that Friday, and he followed me to the auditourium. Graham told me he had little time to spare and I told him that my piece would only last 3 minutes. I started playing. It went well until the third last measure. My hands stopped moving. It was as if they couldn't read the notes.
"Wait! I got this!" I told him.
I only played until the fifth measure on the 2nd page. I asked if I could start again.
"Sure..."Graham said.
The choir teacher, Mr. Jones, walked in too and started listening. Luckily, I didn't get distracted, though he did try to distract me by waving his hand over my music.
"Don't do that." I told Mr. Jones. He was a teacher, but if he wasn't, I bet I would have screamed his face off.
"Haha. Don't do that." Graham mimicked.
The second time I only survived until the tenth measure on the second page. I stopped abruptly.
"Can I stop please?" I made it look like Mr. Jones made me play.
"Sure. That was great!" I think Mr. Jones started applauding, but I don't know for sure.
What I don't know is where Graham went. He didn't even say goodbye.
I left the choir room, got my violin, and fled out to the bus area.
My friend, Emma Brodey, noticed itmediattly that something was wrong with me.
"What's wrong?"
Emma started taking a couple guesses. They weren't bad nor irrelevant, but they weren't close.
I burst into tears when I sat on the bus. I told her everything.
"I SUCK! I BET GRAHAM THINKS I AM THE WORST PIANO PLAYER IN HISTOURY! I BET HE THINKS I'M A LOSER! I BET HE THINKS I JUST LIVE A LIFELESS LIFE! I AM WORTHLESS! WHY PLAY FOR PEOPLE WHEN ALL THE STUFF YOU PLAY IS WORTHLESS, JUST LIKE, TAKE, MYSELF AS THE #1 EXAMPLE! WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO MESS UP AT THE TIMES THAT I SIMPLY CAN NOT MESS UP!" When I was typing all this, it still hurt.
"I don't think Graham thinks you are worthless. I think he will just forget about it. And what are you talking about? You are not the worst piano player in histoury!" Emma replied.
"Yes I am! I can't use my 2 hands at once!" I started sobbing again, and crying like a...Llama? I don't think I spelled that right.
This went on the whole bus ride, and then Emma made me feel a lot better. A lot better.
"Thanks Emma. You're the best," I said.
When I got off the bus, I just burst into tears again. And it was raining. And my umbrella was in my backpack, and i didn't think of getting it because I wa sobbing my brain out.
"I MESSED UP ON THE PIECE I KNEW BEST?! WHYWHYWHY??! I SHOULD JUST CUT OFF MY HANDS I'M SO WORTHLESS! WAIT, THAT WOULD JUST MAKE ME EVEN MORE WORTHLESS! I BET GRAHAM HATES ME! FOR WASTING HIS TIME LIKE THAT! I DON'T EVER WANT TO TALK TO HIM AGAIN! I SWEAR I SHOULD QUIT!"
I sobbed some more. Worst part of my day. I hated it.
I called my friend Sophie Struckmeyer.
"Katie, don't worry. Please don't quit. You'll really regret it! Plus, I bet he has completely forgotten," She told me.
"Yes, but I haven't." I told her. "I just had to mess up then. At that specific time!" I told her.
"It will be okay! Everyone isn't perfect!"
"Thanks Sophie. You really cheered me up!"
"Your welcome. Just don't worry about Graham 24/7."
"I won't! I am making a a Christmas present for you tomorrow! It's just that I won't be here Monday because of the Orchestra concert, but I will be here on Tuesday!"
"Okay! I will try to make something for you too!"
"I love you Sophie!"
"Love you too! Bye!"
We hung up.
I still do not want to see Graham on Tuesday.
So at Barnes & Noble, since I didn't see him and I inferred he wasn't there, was that why I played Let it snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow! perfectly? There has to be something behind all this.
I am never quitting piano.
I am never quitting Violin!
And I am not cutting my fingers off either!
I will just keep perservering!
As so my lifesong Double Liarrat says by Megurine Luka! I perserver at what I want to achieve, and harder things shall get in my way. But all I have to do is keep on spinning!
Yesterday (that was last Thursday(the 15th)), I wanted Graham to hear my piano piece that I played for my recital. He came to the concert at Barnes and Noble, thinking that I would play my piano piece there, but the piano didn't have a Damper pedal, which would mean my piano piece would sound horrible. I told him on that Thurday that I really wanted him to hear it and we both agreed to meet in the choir room on Friday (the 16th).
I saw Graham on that Friday, and he followed me to the auditourium. Graham told me he had little time to spare and I told him that my piece would only last 3 minutes. I started playing. It went well until the third last measure. My hands stopped moving. It was as if they couldn't read the notes.
"Wait! I got this!" I told him.
I only played until the fifth measure on the 2nd page. I asked if I could start again.
"Sure..."Graham said.
The choir teacher, Mr. Jones, walked in too and started listening. Luckily, I didn't get distracted, though he did try to distract me by waving his hand over my music.
"Don't do that." I told Mr. Jones. He was a teacher, but if he wasn't, I bet I would have screamed his face off.
"Haha. Don't do that." Graham mimicked.
The second time I only survived until the tenth measure on the second page. I stopped abruptly.
"Can I stop please?" I made it look like Mr. Jones made me play.
"Sure. That was great!" I think Mr. Jones started applauding, but I don't know for sure.
What I don't know is where Graham went. He didn't even say goodbye.
I left the choir room, got my violin, and fled out to the bus area.
My friend, Emma Brodey, noticed itmediattly that something was wrong with me.
Emma started taking a couple guesses. They weren't bad nor irrelevant, but they weren't close.
I burst into tears when I sat on the bus. I told her everything.
"I SUCK! I BET GRAHAM THINKS I AM THE WORST PIANO PLAYER IN HISTOURY! I BET HE THINKS I'M A LOSER! I BET HE THINKS I JUST LIVE A LIFELESS LIFE! I AM WORTHLESS! WHY PLAY FOR PEOPLE WHEN ALL THE STUFF YOU PLAY IS WORTHLESS, JUST LIKE, TAKE, MYSELF AS THE #1 EXAMPLE! WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO MESS UP AT THE TIMES THAT I SIMPLY CAN NOT MESS UP!" When I was typing all this, it still hurt.
"I don't think Graham thinks you are worthless. I think he will just forget about it. And what are you talking about? You are not the worst piano player in histoury!" Emma replied.
"Yes I am! I can't use my 2 hands at once!" I started sobbing again, and crying like a...Llama? I don't think I spelled that right.
This went on the whole bus ride, and then Emma made me feel a lot better. A lot better.
"Thanks Emma. You're the best," I said.
When I got off the bus, I just burst into tears again. And it was raining. And my umbrella was in my backpack, and i didn't think of getting it because I wa sobbing my brain out.
I sobbed some more. Worst part of my day. I hated it.
I called my friend Sophie Struckmeyer.
"Katie, don't worry. Please don't quit. You'll really regret it! Plus, I bet he has completely forgotten," She told me.
"Yes, but I haven't." I told her. "I just had to mess up then. At that specific time!" I told her.
"It will be okay! Everyone isn't perfect!"
"Thanks Sophie. You really cheered me up!"
"Your welcome. Just don't worry about Graham 24/7."
"I won't! I am making a a Christmas present for you tomorrow! It's just that I won't be here Monday because of the Orchestra concert, but I will be here on Tuesday!"
"Okay! I will try to make something for you too!"
"I love you Sophie!"
"Love you too! Bye!"
We hung up.
I still do not want to see Graham on Tuesday.
So at Barnes & Noble, since I didn't see him and I inferred he wasn't there, was that why I played Let it snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow! perfectly? There has to be something behind all this.
I am never quitting piano.
I will just keep perservering!
As so my lifesong Double Liarrat says by Megurine Luka! I perserver at what I want to achieve, and harder things shall get in my way. But all I have to do is keep on spinning!
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