My Resolutions for 2018 + The Dock

Last year, I wrote a New Year's resolution blogpost called How to Set Your New Year's Resolutions Correctly, which I suggest you check out if you haven't. For this blogpost, I am going to challenge myself & see if I did achieve those resolutions from 2017 & add a few resolutions for 2018.

Did I achieve my New Year's Resolutions from 2017?

1.) Be healthier: I believe I have achieved this New Year's resolution because I know what types of foods make my body feel well nourished & which foods make my body feel absolutely terrible. For example, at the beginning of last semester, I decided to start buying bread for sandwiches for school. As the weeks went by, I noticed that I had been gaining weight & having some annoying headaches even though my diet was mostly healthy. After doing a lot of research, I realised it was the bread & that I had a gluten intolerance, so now I only eat sandwiches or any bready foods at restaurants or during special occasions. I am glad I figured this out because if I didn't, this resolution definitely would have been crushed. 

I am also aware of which foods seem healthy, but actually aren't. There are so many food products in the U.S. that fall into this category & you have to be so careful when you're grocery shopping. For example, a couple of years ago, I was on the road doing a service project. We stopped at a gas station to fill up the vans & one person in the back said, "I'm hungry, I need a healthy snack. I wonder if they have one of those blueberry muffins?" The reason I am using this story as an example of "healthy" foods is because while this blueberry muffin seems healthy, it's not. The person probably thought it was healthy because there were blueberries in the muffins, but didn't realise that the rest of corn syrup, sugar, & white bread-making it a cupcake!  

2.) Stop caring about men so much: I definitely am on my way towards achieving this goal. For example, whenever I am going out with my friends & I'm putting together an outfit, I no longer think "will any guys notice me in this outfit?". I honestly see room for improvement in this goal, but I definitely improved in 2017.

3.) Do a better job at concentrating on the people who care about me: I am definitely getting closer to achieving this goal. One thing that helped me improve so much in this was taking a year-long break from Instagram & coming back with a fresh mindset of the social media website (read more here). 

I have a small group of friends, but it's more quality over quantity. When I was 17 & under, I cared so much about being popular. Of course, I failed to be & I am glad I did. The friends that stuck with me are the friends that I'll be keeping for life & I give thanks for their friendship every time I see them. 

4.) Improve on viola: I am very proud of myself for my improvement on viola because not only did I improve performance-wise, I improved in the way that I saw myself as a violist. Last semester was really revolutionary for me because I realised how toxic my relationship was with my viola. I never enjoyed playing viola, all I cared about was fulfilling the expectations of the audience. I always wanted to be ahead, but last semester was different. I wanted to give academics priority over viola, so I knew that I had to make some sacrifices. However, making sacrifices was difficult.

When I was in my high school, the better I got at viola, the more my other string played peers wanted to be my friend. Because of that, I became obsessed with using my viola to get ahead, causing a toxic relationship to form between me & my viola. At the end of the semester, I realised how such a relationship has not only hurt me, but how it has hurt my peers & my friends. I apologised to everyone at the end of the semester & I told them about how I am still trying to get out of this toxic relationship that I have with the viola. I told them that I am trying to just play viola for the love of music, but there is still this devious, competitive part of me that still lives within me. As the days go by, I am getting better. 

5.) Improve my work ethic in school:  I definitely improved in this category. I firmly believe that college is the best time to discover yourself. Some examples include figuring out what type of environment you work best in, how you study best, & how you work best in group projects. By discovering how to bring out my best work ethic, I found that I procrastinated less. Although there were some nights where I crashed & burned last semester, most nights were very productive. So, I am proud of the effort I put into reducing how much I procrastinate.

6.) Blog more! This New Year's Resolution is difficult for me to accomplish, especially when school is in session. Last semester, I think I only had time to write one blog post a month, which totals five blogposts written last semester. On the other hand, when I'm not in school, I have all this time to brainstorm & write really great blog posts & explore myself through my writing. When I'm on vacation, I probably write a blogpost once every two to five days. So, I don't think I accomplished this resolution because it's something that's out of my control.

~ Eclipse reference ~

My  New Year's Resolutions for 2018

1.) Be less dependent on my phone: Naturally, I can't look at a phone screen for more than ten minutes straight. If I do, I get really dizzy & I feel sick. For that reason, I try to avoid being on my phone for long periods of time or even avoid using it altogether. 

I can't help but notice how many people spend so much unnecessary time on their phone. Imagine the other ways that wasted time could have been used - you could have read a book, worked on a puzzle, cooked something you've never tried before, spent time with friends & family, take your pick. I have started doing this & I feel happier & more productive. I think I'm already making progress on this goal, so I will keep doing what I'm doing.

2.) Stick to my healthy lifestyle: I will continue drinking lots of water, have three vigorous exercise sessions every week, & stay away from bready foods (unless I'm at a party or some other special occasion). 

3.) Continue to improve my relationship with the viola: Just last semester alone, I've come a long way with how I view myself as a violist, but there's still much room for improvement. I will continue putting in a lot of effort towards improving this relationship.

4.) Make some college memories: College is supposed to be one of the best parts of your life. One reason being that you make friends that you're going to keep for life during these years. With these friends, you make some of the best memories imaginable. 

However, in my case, it's extremely difficult to find time to hang out with my friends. I am a music major, so I am busy all of the time. The only time I have off is usually Friday evenings. Sometimes, my friends would invite me to go out with them on Friday night, but I would be so burnt out from the busy week that I just completed that I sadly had to turn them down. Because of that, I wasn't as social as I wanted to be.

I really want to make some memories that will last. I really want to plan a Spring Break trip with one or two of my closest friends. College only happens once, I have to remember to take advantage of every moment! Hopefully, this can happen.

There is also another reason why this New Year's Eve stands out from many others - today was the last day we had on my grandma's dock. Luckily, my grandma (or Mema) sold the property to a family who will take wonderful care of the house & the dock.

Like always, my family designated me as the photographer on the way out towards the dock (Mema took the family photo). But there were many moments where I just put my phone in my pocket & took in everything around me. I concentrated on every step I took, knowing that each step would be my last. While I was walking away from the dock, I stopped & looked back three times. The first & second time I looked back, I was filled with nostalgia. All of the memories I had on the dock started trickling back into my mind. I always saw the dock as an escape from reality. I also saw the dock as a place that brought the family together. At the end of the day, the entire family would walk out onto the dock to watch the sunset, & it ended up being the best way to end the day.

The third time that I looked back at the dock was different. It's hard to describe the feeling, it was 20% nostalgia & 80% gratitude. I remember looking back the third time & smiling. If I could describe how I felt with a thank you, it would be "thank you for the memories. I'll miss you, but I'm grateful for the memories we had."

I view 2017 in the same light, but instead of just thanking 2017 for the memories it gave me, I am also thanking 2017 for the lessons it taught me. I am going to close the door on 2017, but I will not forget the lessons 2017 taught me.